20 Signs you may be the heroine of a gothic novel

In advance of our production of Northanger Abbey we thought you might want to make sure you yourself are not the heroine of a gothic novel before attending. Dramaturg Maren Robinson, after the close perusal of many a gothic novel, prepared this diagnostic list.

gothic

1. There is some mystery surrounding your parentage.

2. You are unnaturally good in spite of your uncertain parentage, and people describe you as “an angel.”

3. You are being held against your will in a terrifying old castle/abbey/crypt/attic/tower.

4. You weep inconsolably.

5. You faint, a lot.

6. You are thwarted in love.

7. You might have a secret twin/brother/sister/parent.

8. You are an heiress, or you discover you’re an heiress when that whole “uncertain parentage” thing gets cleared up.

9. You have been taken to the wilds of Germany/Italy/Romania/Transylvania, where no one knows you and you are beyond the reach of good old British Law.

10. You’ve been dosed with laudanum.

11. You’ve had a prolonged fever because of a profound shock. Everyone is too polite to ask you what was so shocking.

12. Strangers in a carriage aid your escape, treat you like a daughter and give you nice clothes, but you are still sad because you feel undeserving of their attentions.

13. You meet a strange, sad woman in a cemetery/crypt/castle/carriage and she confesses to you a deep and secret tragedy then disappears. She might be a family member.

14. A malevolent man has malevolent designs on you.

15. You flee to a convent.

16. You flee from a convent.

17. You see a ghostly specter and faint. (See No. 5)

18. A building in which you are staying mysteriously catches fire.

19. You are forced to use a pseudonym, but it has some relationship to your goodness or sadness or secret such as Anonyma, Angelica, Dolores, or Mme. St. Ange.

20. Everything turns out okay: you are reunited with your mother/sister/brother. You are able to marry the man you love and have ample funds and a restored name. However, your beloved sister/servant/dog/horse died to save you. You and your children will always visit the grave marker you have erected to commemorate the sacrifice.